Bloody Truth
by PrimeLaughter
Summary: Grell, that bright, overly cheery red head. Little does anyone know he is just pretending. He is not happy. He is not safe. From whom is he in danger from, you might ask. Himself. Can he be saved before he hurts himself too much? Grelliam. T for self harm and, well, the Grelliam.
1. Chapter 1

**OK, I have started a new fanfic! This one is about Grell, Yippeeee! ****_*Jumps in the air excitedly*_**

**_*smooths clothing*_**** Anyways, this one is all saddening. Grell is super depressed. But you don't want to hear it like this. Go and read it!**

**Please review! I love to hear from all my minions…I mean…all you writers.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, just the story.**

* * *

_I hate you_

_You are so ugly_

_Overtime_

_Nuisance_

_Causing so much trouble_

_Can't you dress normally?_

_Problematic_

_Pest_

_I don't love you_

_Go away_

**_That_**_ thing_

_Murderer_

_Not fit to be a shinigami_

_Horrid_

_Atrocious_

_Why don't you die already?_

_Oh, you aren't dead?_

Grell curled up tighter, shaking slightly and clutching his head.

_Demoted_

_Worthless_

_A pain_

Pain. Pain is consuming. Nails dug into the soft flesh of pale arms.

_Stupid_

_Pointless_

_Terrible_

A drop of blood on a white tiled floor. Dripping into a stream, a cascading waterfall of pain and hurt, pooling into a swirling cesspool of hopelessness.

Grell opened his watery eyes, gazing at his scarred wrists. How long had he been cutting himself? How long would he be cutting himself?

_Drip Drip Drip_

It felt so good. It released him from the torturous thoughts. Why couldn't they accept him for who he was?

_Slash_

His grip tightened on the razor he had grabbed. The pain overcame him, washing away all thoughts he had previously been having.

_Slash Slash Slash_

The world swam before his eyes. Nobody needed him. Why didn't he just kill himself? They wouldn't even care. He would just be another death, fading away, routine.

_Drip Drip Drip_

He wasn't needed. He should just end it all.

But he couldn't, no matter how hard he tried. He was too scared. After all this time, practically hand in hand with death, and he was still afraid to face the eternal sleep.

* * *

Grell cracked open a crusty eye. He slowly sat up, wincing as his arm rubbed against the sheets. Slowly, mechanically, he got out of bed and dressed himself. He applied his flashy makeup per usual and carefully brushed his long hair. He made sure the bandages on his wrists were not leaking onto his shirt and headed out for a day of verbal abuse.

* * *

"Sutcliff." Grell flinched at the loud, angry voice. He looked up and jumped on William.

"Yeeees, my love?" He purred into William's ear. He received a punch in the face in response. Outwardly, he was mumbling something about the pain of true love, while, inwardly, he was grateful. The pain was something he could cling to during the lecture that was sure to follow.

"You have failed to show up at work on time yet again. You are truly hopeless. Your paperwork is not getting itself done, you idiot. And you still have quite a few souls to reap. Get to work immediately or I will have to make up a position to demote you to as you seem to have hit the lowest possible position you could manage." Grell slowly made his way to his desk.

_Slacker_

_Lowest point_

_Hopeless_

Yes, hopeless. He was hopeless. There was nothing left for him to hope for anymore. He picked up the pen, an uncharacteristic vacuous look in his usually bright green eyes.

* * *

**So, yah. What do ya'll think?**

**There is much, much more on the way. Don't you all go and worry your pretty little heads about me just ending it here.**

**I will sometimes ask TimeIsArbitrary and Quillcox to look over a chapter before I post it. Just telling you all now so I don't have to say it every time.**


	2. Bloody Pool

**Here is Another chapter! Hip-hip-hooray!**

**Everybody, say it with me!**

**Hip-hip hooray!**

**No? Ok.**

**This chapter was a lot shorter than originally intended, but I decided I didn't like the way I originally wrote it and made one little change. ANd then I couldn't work the rest of it in. Not until the next chapter, anyways. The good news? The next chapter is already partially written!**

**Anyways, all reviews are really appreciated, I love hearing what you all think!**

* * *

Grell was just about to leave for his lunch break when he opened the door and ran right into William. He stumbled and caught his sleeve on a nail sticking out of a table, tearing the fabric before he tripped over his own feet. He hit his head as he landed and blacked out for a second. When he came to jut moment later, he saw William standing over him.

"Sutcliff! Where do you think you're go-" he stopped short, spotting the slightly reddened bandage revealed by the tear in Grell's sleeve.

"Sutcliff, what is that?"

Fear flashed through Grell's eye's, but he quickly hid it under a veil he kept up at all times.

"A tear in a perfectly good shirt. This simply won't do! It is unbecoming of a lady to present herself in such a state. Especially in front of such a handsome man! Please, allow me to go and tidy myself up."

"Sutcliff," William warned, voice low. He squatted besides the red-head, a deep scowl upon his face.

"William," Grell replied in a sing-song voice.

"What is that?" William ignored Grell's interjection.

"I already told you! I tore my shirt!" Grell replied a little too quickly, a bead of sweat dripping down his face.

"Grell," William growled, voice dangerously low. Grell sucked in a breath as William grabbed his arm firmly but gently, turning it palm up. He carefully rolled Grell's sleeve up to his elbows, eyes widening as he saw how far the bandage went. One of the cuts had reopened during Grell's fall and was staining the gauze.

"Will-"

"No, Grell."

In one swift motion, William had undone the little piece of medical tape holding the bandage in place and had begun to unwrap the redhead's arm. Before Grell could shield them, the first of the many cuts and scars were revealed. An angry slash of red against a pale backdrop. William sat stunned for a moment, eyes glued to the mark of Grell's anguish. He let his eyes travel up to Grell's own, confusion, guilt and fear written in bold across his face. Grell stared in shock at his superior before quickly looking to the side and yanking his arm away from limp fingers, tugging his sleeve down. His head snapped up when he felt soft fingers delicately pushing his sleeve back up. Before he could protest, William stopped him with one slender finger.

"No arguing, Grell." With that, William gently rewrapped his arm before scooping up the damaged reaper. Grell was about to demand he be put down when William silenced him with a shake of his head. "Grell, listen to me. I am your superior and you will do what I say, understood? You will come with me, if I have to carry you then so be it. I am going to properly clean you up and will proceed to take a brief leave of absence. You need time to heal, physically and mentally. No arguing. This is how it is going to be, you hear?" Grell nodded meekly before resting his head on William's chest.

* * *

The next thing he knew he was laid out on a bed in an unfamiliar room. He blinked and looked around, completely disoriented. William appeared in the doorway, a first aid kit in one hand and a wet washcloth in the other. The recent events came flooding back and Grell quickly scrambled up. He was in William's apartment, the reaper knew he had been cutting himself and was trying to help him. Why? As the question came to his lips he was cut off.

"Sit down, Sutcliff. Now. I am only going to clean you up. Why? Because I can do whatever the fuck I want, and when an employee starts to hurt himself, you can be damn well sure I will do whatever it takes to help him. Now, sit down. Please, Grell?"

Grell nodded, too stunned by how tenderly William had said his name. He realized that through this ordeal William had addressed him by his first name for the first time in years. Why was that?

Grell was brought out of his thoughts as William sat besides him, carefully taking off the bandages. His lemon-lime eyes widened as the full extent of the damage was revealed.

"G-grell," He stated hesitantly. "How long have you been… cutting yourself?"

Having someone else say it caused the reality to hit him full on n the face. Tears pricked his eyes as he responded, voice thick.

"I-I d-don't know…" He burst into tears, mascara running down flushed cheeks. Strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him into a warm chest. He buried his face in William's shirt, gripping it like a lifeline.

"Shhh… it's going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."

William rocked the wailing Grell in his arms, not caring that his crisp white shirt was getting stained beyond repair. Grell sat and cried and cried, letting all his pent up sadness flow out in a much less painful way. His flow of tears soon slowed, drying up altogether. He drifted into sleep, safely cocooned by kind arms.

* * *

William rested his chin on the top of Grell's head, the shattered reaper curled up in his lap. He leaned back against the headboard, not letting go of his companion. It was all his fault, wasn't it? He closed his eyes and sighed. Why hadn't he seen it earlier? Why hadn't he seen what he had done to Grell? He hadn't meant for this to happen. He squeezed Grell tighter, and the redhead snuggled up closer. William watched the slumbering Grell in his arms, all pain and fear and false happiness washed away. All the was left was a shell. An empty shell. A shell William had helped hollow out. A shell William wanted to make amends to. A shell he wanted to fill back up again.


	3. Bloody Torrent

**OMG I CANNOT CONTAIN MY HAPPINESS! You guys have given me so much wonderful feedback! I am just overflowing with happiness. **

**Just going to say I love you guys. **

**Also, this story has taken a random turn I wasn't even expecting. I didn't use any of what I had written before hand, this was all coming right from that twisted part of my brain.**

* * *

Grell felt safe and secure for the first time in… how long? How long since he had last felt true happiness? Even if it was just a little sliver of light in the dark cavern that was his heart, he would enjoy its warmth for as long as he could. He blinked and snuggled up closer to William.

His eyes flew open. William! He shifted slightly to look up into the slumbering face of his superior. How long had they been out? He slowly slithered his way out of William's arms, careful not to wake him. Grell looked around William's apartment, not surprised to find it was carefully decorated in blacks, greys and whites. He stumbled upon a study that was filled with a warm chocolaty brown, but other than that it was as clean and sterile looking as the Dispatch lobby. He sighed and sunk down on a large black chair, head in his hands. What was he going to do? What was he going to tell everyone? William was going to make him take a break from work, and questions would soon be asked. They would eventually find out how he had been treating himself. They wouldn't be able to look at him the same way again. They would hate him more. They would sniff and raise their noses to the sky and say he was a disgrace. He should have been able to handle a bit of stress. They all had the stress, why couldn't he cope like them? Why couldn't he be cut from the same stone? Why was he different?

_Incompetent_

_Worthless_

He was incompetent. He was worthless and he knew it. On the night that he didn't bleed himself to sleep, he used tears. He wasn't strong enough. He never has been.

That false sense of warmth he had briefly felt earlier shattered. Because that was what it was, wasn't it. It was false. William wouldn't really try to help him. He was too cold for that. He probably just wanted him out of his hair. Everyone did.

Grell clawed at his arm, freeing it from the bandages, seeking the comfort he had found in pain.

_Dummy_

_A waste of space._

_A disgrace to all things Shinigami._

A slight gasp escaped his lips as the first few drops of blood fell onto his shirt. He looked up and realized he couldn't do this here. Not in William's perfect living room. Everything meticulously placed, not even a spec of dust on the white carpet. Grell stumbled into the bathroom, all but collapsing on the floor.

He shook as silent sobs racked his body. He wasn't strong enough. He pulled a pocketknife out of his jacket. One he kept on his in case of a situation like this, where his razor was out of reach.

_Slash_

He let the blood and tears fall, mixing together on the floor.

_Slash_

He was too weak. He wasn't even strong enough to stop himself from this.

_Slash_

He was just so pointless. He was a waste of space.

_Slash Slash Slash Slash_

Soon his mind was empty of all his sorrows. The numbing pain filled him up. It brought both clarity and a fog to his world. He could hide behind the pain, and it sharpened his senses at the same time. He slowly calmed his breathing, blinking the last tears out of his eyes. He looked down on the mess he had made. Blood and tears covered the grey tile. Spattered here and there. It was actually slightly artistic. Grell chuckled sadly at the thought. His pain and suffering brightened the dark world around him. How fitting.

He slowly cleaned up. He knew William wouldn't stand for and sort of mess in his house. He looked down on his shirt. It was quite obvious what he had done, patches of red dotted the white shirt. It looked just like the Jack The Ripper case.

He shook his head. Don't think about that. Don't. He leaned back against the door. What would William say when he saw this? He would be angry, probably. He couldn't stand a mess. Grell was a mess he couldn't clean up with a rag, though. What would he do?

Grell buttoned up his red coat, covering up the stains. It wasn't how he liked to wear it, but it would have to do for the time being.

Grell walked out of the bathroom slowly, looking around to see if William was watching. The coast was clear, so he continued. As he walked by the kitchen he was startled by a hand on his shoulder. He looked back at William.

"Grell, where were you?"

"Bathroom," he replied, trying to free himself from William's grip.

"For an hour?" William asked suspiciously.

"Don't question a lady's private time, William." Grell shot back hotly. He tried, and failed, to get out from under William's hand yet again.

"Unbutton your coat."

"William! Don't say such things to a proper lady!"

"Grell, don't make me ask you again. Take off your coat."

"William-"

"Grell Sutcliff!"

Grell cowed under William's harsh voice and slowly complied. He slipped out of the coat and turned to face William, bloodstains fully visible.

'Oh Grell…' William thought. Shock was written across his features as he saw the damage that had been done. He reached out and grabbed Grell's arm, unwrapping it. The sight of the fresh wounds stopped him dead. The ghastly sight of the mangled flesh nearly brought tears to his eyes. How could Grell keep doing this to himself?

"Grell why-"

"Why what, William? Why am I hurting myself? The real question here is why am I not strong enough? Why am I worthless? Why am I pointless? Why don't I have enough courage to end it all?" Tears began to flow down the fiery reapers cheeks. "Why am I different? Why must I keep being incompetent? Why am I problematic? Why can't I be strong enough to take the stress? Why must the world hurt me so? Why do I find it so hard to make everyone happy with me? Why can't I take it upon myself to just take myself out of everyone's mind? Why can't I just face death? Why? Why, William, why?"

Grell wriggled his way out from under the shocked man before him and ran, locking himself in one of the nearest rooms he could find, tears flowing in a never ending stream.

_Why?_

* * *

**__****Wasn't so happy about how ended this. Please forgive me. Don't ask me why I feel the need to torment poor little Grell the way I do. Hope this hasn't put anyone off from reading this fanfic anymore.**

**I really appreciate all and any feedback you give me! I do try to reply to everyone, but if, for some freak of nature or something I accidentally forget to reply to you, please forgive me!**

**Not sure when the next chapter is coming out, but it will probably be really soon. Until then, hope you can keep your footing on the cliff of sanity here!**


	4. Bloody Cascade

**Just thought I should warn you all now, this chapter is slightly OOC.**

**Again, so many reviews! You have all made me so happy, I cannot contain my glee. Ok, well, that was a lie. I can, and I will. For your sake, anyways.**

**So, I am feeling slightly more compassionate towards Grell in this chapter, though how he will fare in the following chapters is pretty questionable. **

**ANYWAYS... go read it!**

* * *

_Why?_

Why, Grell, why? Why do you keep hurting yourself? Why do you keep hurting me? William stared at the closed door. It was the door to his study. A thin board of rectangular wood with a brass knob; the only physical thing separating him and Grell. A thin barrier held fast by a bolt. They were so close, yet so far away.

William reached his hand out hesitantly, and then recoiled. What could he say? He wasn't good with words. He never has been. He gazed at the doorknob. What was he going to do? He had to do something. He couldn't just leave Grell all alone to his mind. There is no telling what he might do.

_Why don't I have enough courage to end it all? Why can't I just face death?_

Grell's earlier words came back to him. Why couldn't he face death? Why couldn't he end it all? Did he mean…? William's eyes widened; Grell was not only in enough pain to cut himself, he was suicidal. He knew he couldn't leave Grell alone in there with the blade of some sort he knew the redheaded reaper had on his person. He grabbed the door handle and shook it, but to no avail; the lock was fastened. William tore around the corner in his mad dash to find the spare set of keys. He knew they were here somewhere.

_Damn!_ He thought. _Where did I put those keys? Fuck!_

He didn't often curse, but he found he had been finding the need for profanities more often than usual the past twenty-four hours.

He ripped open drawers and scattered papers, not caring about the mess he was making. There was something more important; much more important. After what seemed like an eternity, the keys were in his outstretched fingers as he dashed back to the door. He fumbled in his haste to get to the bloodied reaper, no longer caring about appearance. It was more than just pride; he couldn't let Grell die. He was his subordinate, but should not be treated as such. Grell was as much an equal to William as anyone else was.

Grell was wrong, he was cut from the same stone as the rest of them. He was just a bit rougher around the edges, not quite so cut for precision as beauty and form. The door lept open and William sprang in, surprising the tear-soaked Grell.

The crimson reaper looked up from his watery mess, William a blur before him. Suddenly, he was enveloped in those arms, much like the night before.

"You are wrong, Grell. You aren't worthless. You aren't pointless. You aren't incompetent. You aren't weak; you are stronger than anyone else I know. You are brave and beautiful and bright. You are a rose blooming in the concrete. We all love you for who you are. We don't want you to be someone you are not. We all need you, we couldn't grow without the sun to guide us. Don't take away our light, please, please don't. You choose to be different and to take your own path, but you somehow stay connected to our strait and narrow one at the same time." William squeezed Grell tightly, not wanting to let go. He felt if he did, the cracked glass that was Grell would shatter. "Just, don't leave us. Don't leave me." The last words were out of his mouth before he could think about it. Looking back on his little speech, by we, he had meant the whole Dispatch, but what he had really meant to say was 'I'.

_I love you for who you are. I don't want you to be someone you are not. I need you, I couldn't grow without the sun to guide me. Don't take away my light, please, please don't. _

He blinked at the tears spilling out of his own eyes. He was rocking Grell as before, both crying and holding on to each other for dear life. As the tears slowly started to fade away, the rocking became less and less noticeable. After a moment, William dared look into Grell's eyes, and the expression in Grell's eyes caused him to stop.

Grell was captivated by the sincerity of William's voice as he exposed his heart to Grell. And even if it was just for an instant, he knew that William was not lying. He was opening up, dropping the emotionless façade. Grell knew these were William's true feelings, and that he had hurt more than just himself with his razor. Grell placed his head back on William's chest and sunk into the embrace, lulled to a half sleep.

William watched as Grell laid his head down, slowly letting his eyes droop. William gently picked Grell up and carried him into the bedroom, placing him down on the white sheets. Grell curled up, a drop of blood on a blank canvas. As William turned to go, a feminine hand curled around his own. He looked down at Grell, confusion flashing behind his glasses.

"Will, please stay with me. At least until I fall asleep."

William nodded and sat besides Grell, allowing him to curl up in his lap.

Grell's last thoughts before he was cocooned safely in the soft arms of sleep was that he had called William Will, and that his superior hadn't objected.

* * *

**Soooo... see what I mean? Slightly OOC. **

**Again, I love to hear your thoughts. It helps me figure out how I should proceed along my storyline, and how I should write the following chapter. **

**So, review, please!**

**Love you all!**


	5. Bloody Trickle

**So, this chapter is shorter than most. My creative mind is a little bit shot right now. Also, I don't want to rush something and make it turn out terrible. So, here this is; short and sweet (?)**

* * *

"Grell? Grell, please wake up now." A soft voice wormed its way into the sleeping reaper's conscience. It wedged itself into his mind like a barb, tugging him out of the sweet bliss of dreamland. Grell yawned widely and slowly opened his foggy eyes. It took him a moment of blinking before his eyes would actually register anything. William sighed and leaned back.

"Grell, I hate to do this to you, but you need to move. My legs are falling asleep." Grell nodded and rolled over, then shivered at the absence of warmth. He scooted back to cuddle against William's side closing his eyes again.

"Grell," William said in a warning tone. "You have to get up. I do still need to find a way to explain my absence from work, and you still have not been properly cleaned." It took a moment before his words sunk in to Grell's tired mind. When it finally did, hi eyes widened slightly and he sat up.

"A-absence?"

"Yes, Grell. I missed the entire afternoon yesterday, and the working hours are nearly over now."

"Oh." He should have known. William would be leaving him again. He looked away sadly.

"And I won't leave you alone." Grell looked back, hope quickly replenishing.

"Why is that?" Grell asked uncertainly.

"Well… to be honest, I don't trust you to yourself."

Grell didn't reply, his mind still in sleep mode.

"Grell?" His head snapped back up at the sound of his name.

"Yes?"

"What's wrong?"

"N-nothing!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. I'm just still a bit tired, is all." William searched Grell's face for a moment before nodding his head.

"Alright. Lets clean you up now."

William reached down onto the floor, picking up the first aid kit. Grell sat up, feeling a little uncomfortable. His arm was still tender from that morning, and he was not used to someone else seeing him in such a state. Grell watched as William grabbed materials expertly, dripping a few drops of the contents of a brown bottle on to a cloth. He carefully rolled up Grell's sleeve and cast aside the bandages.

Gently, of so gently he gripped the soft, pale flesh of Grell's arm and pressed the dampened cloth to a cut. Grell sucked in a breath as the liquid foamed, stinging his still tender cuts.

William was obviously trying his best to be gentle, but the strange sensation still caused Grell to squirm. William sighed and gripped Grell's arm slightly tighter, keeping it steady as he worked. After the initial cleansing, William gently massaged a strange ointment into Grell's skin. He had never seen such a thing, but he knew it must help in speeding up the healing process. It was a biting cold, causing Grell to shiver and squirm some more.

"Grell, please sit still." William said warningly. Obediently, Grell stiffened up. When there was no preceding lecture, he blinked in surprise and relaxed into William's hands. He watched William's emotionless eyes, trained on his arm. What was going on inside this man's head? What were his true thoughts?

Grell knew there had to be something more to this man than work and papers. Push aside the good looks and extreme work ethic, what would be left? Grell was pondering this when he felt the gauze begin to snake its way up his arm, hiding the terrible brand of his misery.

"What is it, Grell?"

"Hm?" The red reaper looked up, startled. William's hands rested on his lap, folded like he would at work. Only, it was different. Just slightly, but Grell could pick up the faintest waves of nervousness and anxiety rolling off of him.

"There you go, doing it again. What are you thinking about when you space out like that?"

"What? Oh, nothing…."

"Grell? Are you alright? Please, you need to talk to me."

"Will, its nothing. Trust me?" William, hesitated, searching Grell's face for a moment before nodding.

"Okay, I won't pry into your personal business. But any time you feel something, please, tell me. I am actually a very good listener." Grell smiled slightly, pearly daggers glinting like his eyes. He nodded and leaned back against the headboard. Would he really ever be able to talk to William like that? He wasn't sure if he could ever cross that bridge. If he ever managed to build a bridge sturdy enough between them, that is. But sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith, and so he did.

"William, what do you think about?"

* * *

**Muah-hah-hah-hah! Cliffhanger!**

**There you go, my lovelies. Guess you will just have to wait until the next chapter!**


	6. Bloody Mist

**Awww-yeah! This is two uploads in one day, if I am correct. That is amazing. I love it. I'm on a roll. **

**Don't you all get used to it. This is an anomaly; trust me.**

**I'm actually not quite so sure about this chapter. It makes me a little nervous. I'm taking a big leap of faith here, just like Grell did in the last chapter. Sort of. Aaaaanyways, please just read it. And if you don't like it and feel compelled to tell me that, then, please do it in a respectful manner. **

**Thank y'all!**

**And I really do want to hear what you have to say about this chapter. Thanks! (I just said that... deal with it.)**

* * *

William blinked, surprised by the sudden change in subject.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you can't think about work and only work. There has to be something else that goes through your head. What do you think about?"

William looked away, unsure of how to answer. He looked everywhere, searching for the answer in his barren room. He looked everywhere, and but his eyes were drawn to the brightest thing there was. He tried to fight the pull, but he finally gave up, eyes locked on brilliant emeralds.

"Grell, I-" William looked away again. He fidgeted. He could he answer that? He took a deep breath and continued, eyes turned down. "I-I… I'm not… I'm a good listener. I'm not exactly the best… speaker." He was rambling now, he could feel it, but he couldn't stop it. Couldn't, or didn't want to? "I have never been sure how to properly express myself. I always come across as rude or cold, so I decided to become that person; cold. I locked my heart away, deep, deep inside me. I hardly have any connection to it now. I never know what to say, especially around people I care about. I mean, it's not easy for me. I mean… what I mean is…. I-I…"

"Will," Grell interrupted. William looked up, eyes drawn into the deep pools of sparkling emerald. His consciousness became lost, sucked into the deep, bottomless pool. But then he found a hand, pulling him out, saving him from drowning. A soft hand; a tender hand. An understanding hand. William blinked, realizing that Grell's delicate fingers were covering his. "Will, it's ok. I understand." Grell smiled, lethal tines flashing. "I was just asking what you were thinking"

William felt the slightest of blushes creeping up on his cheeks. "Urm… right."

Suddenly William felt his rib cage collapse under the force of Grell's hug. "Oh Wiiiiill! You are just too cute!"

"Uh… um, Grell…?"

The only response to that was the seemingly impossible tightening of the redheads arms. "William. You just opened yourself up to me."

"Uh-"

"You don't have to feel like you are closed off, you know."

"I could say the same to you. You didn't have to resort to… cutting yourself."

"You didn't have to resort to becoming a block of ice."

"I never had anyone to turn to. You had so many people. The entire office, they all love you. You had Ronald especially. He looks up to you so much, I don't even know if you realized."

"But what if he wasn't the one I wanted to talk to?"

William was silenced by the underlying tone in Grell's voice. He wasn't just being playful. He was being hurt, and he was telling him. Grell was telling William what he really felt. William watched was Grell buried his face further in William's stomach, as if trying to hide himself. William reached down and picked Grell's face up so he could look into his eyes. Those brilliant, beautiful green eyes.

"Grell…"

"Will, I-"

"You don't have to hide yourself. You are beautiful just the way you are."

"W-will-"

"Grell."

"Yes?"

"Shut up"

William leaned in, lips ever so lightly brushing up against soft red ones. It took a moment for his mind to catch up with his body, and when it did, he jumped back.

"G-grell… um… I'm just going to, uh, go and, um, inform the office that I wont be coming in for a while. A-and neither will you. So, uh, I'll, um, be back in a little bit." William hurried himself out of the room, closing the door behind him. Once the door was shut, William leaned back against the stained wood, sliding down into a sitting position. He leaned his head back, head in his hands.

What was he doing?

He knew the answer to that question.

He was falling.

But it wasn't a bad kind of falling; he wasn't slipping into oblivion. He wasn't slipping into a closed-off icy shell. He wasn't locking his heart far away. This was a warming falling. It was so pleasant, but it was also so terrifying.

He was falling. He was falling hard.

He wasn't sure he could pull himself back up.

But the scariest part was he wasn't sure he wanted to.

* * *

**Kay... so, do you see why I was a bit, um, nervous here? So, I do suspect the rest of this story will be getting a little bit more and more OOC. I hope not too too much, but just tiny bits. I am changing the way they interact and stuff, so yeah. **

**So, review? Please?**


	7. Bloody Droplets

**AH! I feel as if it has taken waaaaay too long for me to send this out and for that I apologize.**

**First off, I just wanna say that this chapter is mainly for you, TimeIsArbitrary. You will see what I mean, and you will recognize it. Also, for my friend who does not happen to have a FF account, but still reads all my stuff. You know who I'm talking about! Come up on stage with me and take a bow!**

**Ok, well, now, go read it and you will understand.**

**And for those who have no clue what I'm talking about, apologies. I just couldn't help myself. It had to be done.**

**Now go! Be free! Fly away!**

**Just kidding, read this first.**

**Then be free.**

* * *

William just… he just… he kissed me…

Grell was shell-shocked. He placed his fingers over his still-tingling lips. It had lasted less than a second, but it was the best second of his life.

And then William had done the most adorable thing as he realized exactly what had just happened. The flustered excuse as his cheeks flared before rushing out of the room.

It wasn't the first time Grell had been kissed. Not by a long shot. It was one of the things he had tried before he had resorted to the blade; he had slept around a bit. He even got into a few abusive relationships, a couple all at once. This had earned him the nametag as the slut of the building, and that had certainly not helped him to heal.

It was during those abusive relationships that he had discovered that the pain was distracting. But none of those touches had made his stomach flutter just so, none of the glances had set his skin ablaze, none of the kisses had felt so right.

It had been the slightest of kisses; skin barely blushing, yet he felt so alive. Grell flopped back onto the bed, a childish grin blossoming, and fresh as a rose. The first time a genuine smile of that nature in such a long, bitter time.

It wasn't a long kiss; it was hardly a kiss at all, yet it was as exciting to him as a young girl's first.

* * *

"So you'll be out f'r a bit, aye Mr. Spears?"

"Yes, McCoy. Me and Grell both."

"Ah, so ye finally made the moves on 'im?"

"What ever would give you that impression, McCoy?"

"You be a youngin, lad. I'm far older than you. These eyes can tell young love bloomin' sure as the spring rain."

"McCoy, you have it wrong. I am simply taking this leave to ensure a full recovery of my subordinate."

"Tell yerself what ye want, Mr. Spears. But trust me you, that Grell'll have you snared in his trap soon enough. Cunning little feller, he is. Here are yer forms, just sign here. There ye are. Now, run along to that there beauty of yers."

"McCoy," William warned as he turned to walk away.

"An' you be careful with 'im, you 'ere? 'E may not look it, but he is quite a fragile one."

William just walked out, not daring not turn around in fear of the older reaper commenting on his blush.

The thing was, McCoy knew exactly what he was talking about. William was falling for a fiery little ball of crimson. One that was as delicate and beautiful as glass. And he needed to be treated as such, too. He could so easily break in Williams's hands if he was handled the wrong way.

* * *

William was about to head home when he remembered he had nearly no food for dinner, and he knew how the redhead could eat. He that tiny frame could pack away so much defied the laws of physics itself.

* * *

Grell heard the door to the apartment open and William's quiet footsteps cross the hall. Slowly, he headed over to the kitchen, from which he heard the sounds of groceries being put away. William didn't look up from his work, determined to act as if he didn't feel the flutter in his chest as he spotted a flash of color against the bleak landscape.

Grell stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame and watching William work. The entire kitchen was so pristine, he was almost afraid to enter. Grell spotted something in a bright package being shoved into a cupboard. Grell recognized that bag. He could pick it out anywhere.

"William, did you get…?" Grell stopped, mouth watering at the thought.

"Yes, Grell. I did."

"I love those."

"I know."

When Grell didn't move, William sighed and threw the bag to the redhead.

"Don't eat them all. Only have a few, dinner isn't in too long. Plus, they'll give you a stomachache."

Grell blinked, then threw himself into his superiors arms while squealing in delight.

"OH WILLIAM, YOU DO HAVE A HEART!"

"Grell, I have some cold cuts that cannot stay out in the warmer air or they will spoil. If you would kindly remove yourself from my person…"

Grell reluctantly let go, then situated himself on a stool, delightedly tearing into the package. His thin fingers brought one of the bright red pieces of candy up to his equally red lips, slowly nibbling. The sweet flavor rushed into his mouth, and he greedily gobbled it down.

"These are the good ones," he mumbled as he ate a few more.

"I know. I've seen you with this kind on multiple occasions."

Grell was too absorbed in his candy to realize exactly what William had said: that he actually paid attention to the redhead's favorite things. William, on the other hand, realized exactly what had just spilled from his lips, and blushing, he turned back to his work.

_'Damn. What's wrong with me?'_ He thought angrily. He was a professional; he couldn't be turning all soft. Especially when Grell needed the support. He sighed and continued to put the food away.

"Grell-" William stopped short as he turned around the redhead was gone. Panic seized him and he ran to the bathroom door. Running water could be heard from within.

What if Grell had just cut himself again and he was washing away the evidence? William threw the door open, then stumble back, face ablaze.

"William? Is it a habit of yours to follow women into the bathroom?

"N-no! Sorry! You didn't say you were leaving, and suddenly you were gone. I didn't know if you had… had… never mind. Sorry."

William shut the door as Grell buttoned his pants.

_'Idiot. I am an idiot.' _He grumbled inside his head as he walked back to the kitchen. The open bag of candy caught his eye. A few of the fish-shaped pieces had tumbled out of the bag and lay on the pristine counter. Bright red candy; blood red. Spilling from an open wound in the plastic.

William shivered. Would that color always remind him of Grell's darkest moments? With a sigh, he gathered up the candies and placed them in the cupboard.

Locking away the wound. Not healing it, just sealing it away from any prying eyes. Forgotten. William shook his head.

_'No. Don't think. Cook. That is a concrete thing; something with directions. Just cook.'_

William began to methodically measure the ingredients, getting lost in the science of it all. It wasn't something that needed emotion. If he was careful, it was a no-mess operation. People weren't like that. They weren't quite so black and white. There wasn't a manual for him to follow. There weren't rules with the mind. It was something that he simply had no idea on what to do. What would you say when someone kissed you? How should you react afterwards? The correct answer wasn't written in. It wasn't in the above. It was something he had to make up, something that was different depending on the person. A rule for one may not apply to another. It was so difficult, while cooking was always the same. You didn't have to venture outside the parameters of the recipe if you didn't want to. It was rhythmic, something he could count upon always being the same.

* * *

**Okay! So, here we are. The current end of this fan fiction. Until the next chapter comes out. This is the longest chapter so far! Rejoice with me!**

**Oh, and yes, McCoy is an OC of mine. Don't steal him, I have decided I love him. I will pet him and feed him and call him George.**

**Forget you just read that.**

**I wonder, should I bring him back a few times later on? (this is the part where you review and tell me "YES! WE LOVE HIM TOO! BUT NOT AS MUCH AS YOU! BUT ENOUGH TO WANT YOU TO BRING HIM BACK!" or "NO! WE HATE HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM WITH FIRE!)**

**Aaaaanyways, I would love to hear from you all! Even if it is a simple "I liked this chapter". All feedback makes me more motivated to get the next chapter out faster. Seriously. **

**Sooo... review it up!**


	8. Bloody Rain

**Ok, there was some confusion from the last chapter. No, this fan fiction is nowhere need over. Trust me *winks*. I could never abandon these guys to their blossoming relationship. There was no way they could manage this alone.**

**Besides, SOMEONE needs to make those awkward moments!**

**And yes, McCoy will be coming back. You love him and I love him. Why would I get rid of him?**

**So, here is this chapter. Please review, not only do I love hearing your lovely voices (... pretending you have voices, I guess...), but it also works a bit like a guilt-trip. It makes me remember that all you people are dyeing to hear what happens next and I'm just taking my sweet time over here.**

* * *

William hummed as he finally stuck the main course into the oven and set the timer. He tightened his apron as he did so, turning to begin preparations on desert.

_Kekeke_~ he heard from the doorway. He turned, and found Grell hiding his face in he doorframe.

"Grell, what is it?"

"Nothing, Willi!"

William sighed "Seriously. I have to get to work here. What is it?"

In a flash, Grell was pressed up against William's front, his head tilted back to look into the slightly taller brunette's lemony-lime eyes. William swallowed thickly, fighting a blush that was creeping up his face. Grell wrapped his fingers around the edge of William's apron, tugging on it.

"This, Willi." Grell laughed, spinning away and out of the room. As the brightly colored reaper disappeared, William looked down. To his horror, he was wearing the wrong apron. This was the one an old business partner had left when she was cooking for him after he had gotten some bad injuries one day. That was before she died during a job. The thing was frilly and pink, looking like something right off a little girl's dress. Why he hadn't gotten rid of it years ago, he would never know.

_'Damn it!'_ William groaned mentally. Of course, the one time he ever accidentally grabs this apron, and Grell walked in. Maybe he cooking wasn't as simple as he thought.

* * *

"Grell?"

William question softly as he peered around another doorway. After putting the dessert in the fridge to chill and hanging the cursed apron up, he went looking for the troublesome redhead.

He found Grell in a towel only, sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

"Grell-"

"William, I didn't do anything. Just a shower. Here, see?" He held up his wrists for emphasis.

"Ah. I'll let you be, then."

"Do you have a hairbrush? All my things are at my apartment."

_'Right. I was supposed to pick up his things when I was out earlier. McCoy got my mind on different things.'_

"Yah, sorry about that. We'll grab anything you need tomorrow, alright? I have a spare toothbrush you could use, and I can let you borrow some of my clothes."

"Ok. But a hairbrush would be greatly appreciated right now."

William nodded and reached into a cupboard, snatching out a hairbrush. He was about to hand it to Grell when a strange felling began growing inside his stomach. An unfamiliar longing. One that nearly made him reach out and run his fingers through Grell's hair. Grell seems to sense this and smiled, giving William permission. He positioned himself behind Grell and brought the brush up hesitantly. He had never brushed someone else's hair before, and wasn't quite sure how to proceed. Especially since this particular someone takes such pride in their hair. Ignoring the logical part of his brain that told him to drop the brush and run, he carefully ran the bristles down the length of crimson silk. He was mesmerized at how the brush flowed through the swirls of color. He quickly fell into a rhythm; whenever he came to a knot he would gently untangle it. The peaceful expression on Grell's face reminded William how comfortable he had become around his superior.

William was caught up in the moment and realized a second too late he had put the brush down and was massaging Grell's scalp. He was about to pull away when he felt Grell relaxing into his touch, slight upward turn to his lips.

His lips, ones William had kissed just that morning. They had been so soft, so warm. Again, William felt that longing. This time, however, he was drawn towards Grell's mouth. William blinked and realized he had stopped messaging Grell's head and was staring at him in the mirror.

"Urm, I'm just going to, ah, go now," he mumbled, cheeks flaming. He turned and was about to leave when his wrist was caught by Grell's hand.

"William, I kind of need some clothes. Mine are a bit soiled."

"Yes. Right. Come with me."

William led Grell to his room again and searched around for some extra clothes.

"Grell," He said, turning with clothes in hand. "This will all be a bit large, I hope you don't mind."

"William, you have absolutely no taste in color," Grell replied flippantly as he took the items from William's hand. "And unless you plan to watch me-" he wiggled suggestively "-I would suggest you vacate the room."

William nearly tripped over himself in his attempt to get out of the room.

Why was he so flustered? Just a few days ago he would have brushed off those comments. But now, now his heart raced and his cheeks were aflame. What was wrong with him? He only felt friendship for Grell; his worry was just making him irrational. It had to be. He couldn't be in love. There was no way he felt love. Him? William T. Spears? In love? It was some sick joke the universe was playing on him. He was emotionless. His shriveled heart wasn't capable of love. And he was undeserving of being loved back.

* * *

**There are going to be many more great things to come. Any amazing awkward moment ideas? PLEASE TELL ME!**

**I seriously need all the ideas I can get. Believe it or not, my brain can only come up with so many terrible/depressing/bloody/beautiful/lovely/shiny (wut?)/kind things. **

**So, do help out a poor soul in need and give me some ideas.**

***bows* thank you in advance for your help. I look forewords to hearing from all of you. *grins***

**Bye now!**


	9. Bloody Downpour

**I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!**

**This took waaaaaay too long to upload. Life just sorta... took over...**

**I had to write almost half of it only iPod, so please, if there are any mistakes, do tell. I hate mistakes.**

**I REALLY want to hear what you all have to say.**

**Oh, and, coincidentally, this is my longest chapter EVER. On any story whatsoever. By about 600 words. Roughly. **

***basks in your praise***

**So, here it is. Please, don't hate me for taking forever.**

**I forgot to mention, but the idea for pretty much this whole thing did not, in fact, come from my brain. I give idea credit to PastaLover1 and to SebbyLover2182. Thank you so much! It was really helpful. This chapter wouldn't have been possible without your twisted minds.**

**Yes, your minds qualify as twisted. Whenever you can just think of ideas like that, your mind is twisted.**

**And yes, my mind falls in that category as well.**

* * *

William set the table quietly. A table for two. He hadn't done that on the longest time.

He called Grell out as he set the last steaming bowl down. The peppy redhead came skipping out and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw what lay before him.

"William…."

"Shut up and come and eat."

Grell grinned at William as the settled in.

"So, Willi. Tell me about that lovely apron if yours."

William blushed and finished his bite before whiping his mouth and looking up.

"It was an old friend's. Never got around to throwing it out. I grabbed it by accident, you know."

"Sure you did." Grell then took a bite, eyes widening. He turned to face his companion, savoring the taste. "Why, Willi. I didn't know you could cook."

"I will ignore the implied idea that I cannot cook and take focus on the compliment."

Grell smiled. "Oh Willi!" He squealed, "You are just too cute!"

William ignored the red reaper and continued eating his food. He had prepared a ham dish, glazed with maple syrup. And not the fake stuff, either. No, he could never stand for that. This was special stuff he only brought out when he needed the extra good sweet taste. It had been carefully shipped from Canada. They were famous for their real syrup, and it truly was the highest quality.

As a side dish he had mashed potatoes, a salad, and a bowl of corn.

He watched discreetly as Grell took another dainty bite, closing his eyes. At first, William was sure he had misheard. But when Grell took another bite and it happened again, he was sure. Grell moaned as he tasted the food. MOANED. William swallowed thickly, trying to clear his head. How badly he wanted to be causing those same noises, but not because if foo-

'Stop.' William shoveled some salad into his mouth to disguise his inner argument.

After a moment, William looked up again. He noticed, much to his neat freakish distain, that Grell had potato on his face.

He sighed and picked his napkin out if his lap, leaning over and gently whipping it off. Grell turned and his surprised expression melted into a smirk. He leaned over and tilted his head to the side, lips tugging upwards even more.

"I have found tongues serve the same purpose even better."

William sat and stared at the crimson reaper for a moment, mid-chew. He swallowed and blushed a deep red.

"Eat." He muttered. Grell let out a peal of laughter before picking up his utensils again. From then on, though, he seemed to make a point if getting little bits of sauce or potato on his face. William refused to fall into his trap, however, and simply asked him to wipe his face.

It didn't take long before Grell leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh.

"You simply MUST cook for me again, William. That was fantastic."

William nodded and began cleaning the table, humming a nameless tune.

* * *

"Wiiiiiiiili!"

"Yes, Grell?"

"I wanna watch a movie!" Grell squealed while tugging on William's sleeve. He sighed and grudgingly agreed. It was when Grell decided to pick it out that he became nervous. What would he say to his selection of mov-

"I didn't know you liked these movies too!" Grell grinned as he held up a few chick-flicks. William moaned inwardly.

"I have those for the same reason as that apron. They were left here when my business partner had to take care of me after an injury I had."

"Suuuure," Grell grinned as he pushed William down onto the couch, sliding an overly sappy disk into the DVD player before grabbing the remote and snuggling up against his superior.

William leaned his head back as the movie began, eyes closed, Grell's head leaning against his chest.

* * *

There was something wet on his pant leg. William could feel it seeping through the cloth, setting onto his skin. He felt Grell besides him, squirming around. At first, he didn't want to move. He didn't even want to know. Then he heard something that changed his mind.

"William," came a hoarse voice. A voice in terrible agony, crying out for help. Lost in the dark of emotions.

William's eyes flew open and widened at what he saw.

Grell was curled up besides him, asleep, blood caked under his nails. His wrists were brutally mutilated and were pooling over everything. That terrible, terrible shade of red surrounded him, engulfed him. That is when William heard it again, bringing him to his senses.

"William... Help me..." William shook Grell's shoulder, but to no avail. The redhead suddenly bolted upright, nails dug into his arm. Blood was slowly oozing its way out of the splits in the skin, dropping onto a black pant leg. Before William could stop him, Grell had ripped his arm into pieces. Tears ran down his cheeks in fat rivers, ending in a cascading waterfall that dropped into the bloody mess.

"GRELL! FUCK! OH HELL, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?"

Grell blinked and realized he was not in his own home. He saw the outline next to him and screeched, flinching away, as if afraid he was going to be hit.

"Shit! Grell, oh my fucking…." William trailed off as he noticed the recoiling redhead. He took a shuddering breath and continued more calmly. "Grell, come here. I'm going to clean you up. No, actually. You are going to go take a bath. Come here."

William picked Grell up in his arms and carried the sobbing, bloody mess into his pearly bathroom. He set Grell down on the closed toilet and turned the water running. He then knelt in front of Grell and held his hands, drying blood coating his fingers.

"Grell, please look at me," He said softly. Grell turned his emerald pools upon William's own, tears still running done his cheeks. "Grell, I'm not even sure where to start…."

"W-w-will-ll-i-i-iam!" Grell flung his arms around his superior, new wave of tears flowing. William held Grell tight, letting the tears fall. Sometimes, bodily contact was the best medicine.

Grell sobbed and sobbed until he was sure he couldn't hold any more tears, and sobbed some more. Why did this have to happen to him? Why did William have to see him like that? Grell hiccupped and tried to calm down, but to no avail.

"Grell? I'm going to help you out here, alright? The water is ready and you need to soak."

Grell nodded as William undid the buttons of the loose shirt.

_'Not exactly the steamy, frantic shirt removal I had envisioned'_ Grell laughed bitterly to himself.

William, face emotionless, slipped Grell out of his pants and underwear before helping him into the warm water. Grell sat and stared at his feet, refusing to look at William. What did the man think of him now? Probably as some child that couldn't control his emotions.

"I'm going to put the clothes and the sheets into a bucket to soak before I do laundry tomorrow. I'll be right back." William was about to leave when he hesitated and reached around Grell. At first, Grell tensed, worried he was going to get smacked, but then relaxed as William drew his hand away. In his fist was a razor.

_'Oh. Right. He doesn't trust me with myself.'_

William removed himself from the room quickly. He placed all things dyed with crimson into a bucket of warm water to soak. He then hurried back to Grell. He knew he had been away too long as it is. There was no telling what he could do to himself if left alone.

* * *

William knelt besides the drenched redhead. He squeezed shampoo into his palm and began massaging it into the blood soaked hair.

'How could Grell keep doing this to himself? To me?' William thought as he washed out the shampoo and began the same process with the conditioner. He was didn't even bother correcting the feeling in his chest as he stole a glance at the abused wrists. Those poor, delicate, slashed wrists. He rinsed out the conditioner and gently picked Grell's hands into his own, palms up. He studies the damage and suddenly gravity changed, gently brushing his lips against Grell's wounds. He felt his subordinate stiffen and he hoped it was not from pain. William gently set Grell's arms back down before reaching out for the bar of soap. He coated his hands and began washing all the dried blood from Grell's body. He watched, transfixed, as crimson was transformed to cream. He couldn't help but relish in the feeling of his hands on the cracked porceline doll before him. One wrong touch and it could shatter, yet when handled correctly it could be mended.

William found himself massaging Grell's shoulders. The redhead was beginning to relax into his touch, welcoming the physical contact.

Suddenly, William's mind was shoved to the side, all his bottled up emotions taking control for a second. And a second was all that was needed.

One second. One second is all it takes to grab a slender chin. One second is all it takes to tilt said chin up. One second is all it takes to crash two sets of lips together. One second is all it takes to let your mind catch up and gain control again. One second is all it takes to not separate yourself. One second is all it takes to add fuel to the fire. One second. It only takes one second to realize your true emotions.

* * *

**KYAA! Yes, William just did.**

**Review, please.**

**I have explained before, it helps me get another chapter out faster.**

**AND THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! *drum roll* McCoy WILL BE COMING BACK!**

**And ideas are always loved. Thank you!**

**Review.**

**Or I will find you.**

**And I will leave the rest up to your imagination**

**XD**

**... *whispers* this is the part in which you hit that convenient review button down there and tell me what you think...**


	10. Bloody Heartstrings

**Ok, so I lied last chapter. McCoy will be coming back NEXT chapter. **

**Unless I lied again...**

**I had the time, so I wrote this. I liked the way it was as an ending, even though it was short.**

**This chapter really is explaining what the hell happened last chapter regarding Grell's breakdown.**

**I know half of you were majorly confused.**

**And William is more OOC than normal. Warning you now. Let's just say he smiled.**

* * *

William slowly separated himself from Grell, eyes closed. He didn't want to see Grell's reaction. What did the redhead think of him now? Was he disgusted? For a brief moment, he considered never opening his eyes again. Then reason took over and he remembered how that could never work.

Slowly, oh so slowly he opened his eyes. His were met with deep pools of emerald. He couldn't move. He was lost in those waters, never wanting to swim to the surface. Again, like before, a hand pulled him out. Only it was different.

Slim fingers were pulling his shirt and crashing lips to his own once more. William's eyes widened. What happened? Grell had actually kissed him back, and didn't seem like he wanted to stop any time soon. After as moment, William pulled back.

"Grell, I lo-" He looked away, then snapped his head back. "Please, tell me what happened. Earlier."

Grell stared at him for a moment. He had a felling he knew what William was about to say, and he knew how hard it was for his superior to talk about himself, especially when it came to feelings. So he would let it come when it would. He needed to be completely honest with him.

* * *

"It was a dream. It was so terrible, Will, so terrible…" He shivered, but continued, soothed by William's hand moving in circles on his back. "It was the same one I would have at home. Over and over and over… But it was different. You were off on the side. You didn't say anything. You didn't help me. You didn't hurt me. You just stood there. A-and then THEY came. And they started hurting me… and I called out for you to help and you turned to look at me. But then I woke up. A-and I guess I thought I was at home, because I did what I normally do to forget… I didn't want to. It just sort of happened. But then I remembered where I was and it HURT. It hurt Will, it hurt so bad. It never had before, but this time it did. I don't know what to do. What if the dreams never go away? What if I always wake up and do… that? What if I can't ever stop?" Grell started crying, fat drops rolling down his pale cheeks.

"Shhh, it's going to be ok." William hugged Grell close. "I won't let you get hurt, not ever again. I won't stand by and watch you get hurt like in your dream. You're MINE, Grell. There is no way I will let you get hurt. I won't let that happen."

Grell's tears ebbed and his heart raced.

_Mine_

_Mine _

_Mine_

William's words echoed through his head. Did he really think that way?

"Yes, yes I do." Grell blinked, had he voiced his thoughts out loud? "I guess I have always felt that way, and I always will." Grell's heart thudded. Never had he ever felt this way because someone told them he was theirs. "And now we need to get you in some clothes. You'll catch your death of cold if you stay in the water anymore." Grell smiled at the reference to an old joke. William, much to his surprise, lifted him out of the tub bridal style, dripping water and all.

"W-William!" Said man cocked his head to the side, uncharacteristic grin appearing.

"Problem, Grell? I can throw you over my shoulder, if you prefer."

Grell froze. William had just…? Had he seriously…?

William chuckled and carried Grell into his room. He proceeded to gently toss the redhead onto his bed then walk back to grab a towel. He handed it to Grell, who, for the first time, felt the extreme need to cover himself up around his superior. William rooted around in his closet until he found extra shirt and pants for his guest. He handed it over and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He sat down on the couch and looked at his glass clock.

_'11:00,'_ He thought. _'It really has gotten late, hasn't it? Will Grell sleep with me again or is he too uncomfortable?'_

At that exact moment, slim arms snaked their way around his chest from behind, face buried in the crook of his neck. Grell's warm breath tickled against his skin, but he refused to squirm.

"Grell. Time for bed, I think." William got up and walked back into his room. To his surprise, he was followed into bed.

As Grell lay down, strong arms encircled him, drawing him into a warm chest. When he raised a questioning eyebrow, William pulled him closer.

"I will protect you from the monsters," he breathed, voice husky. Husky and damn sexy, in Grell's opinion. He snuggled up, relaxing into his much-feared sleep.

* * *

**I just cannot express my love for them enough. They are a really good pairing, in my mind.**

**No, scratch that. They are a really good pairing. If you had a problem with that, you wouldn't be reading this, now would you?**

**PLEASE review.**

**Sunshine and rainbows grace my world whenever you do. Plus, I seriously am running low in the creativity realm of things.**

**I think I will be adding a poem in next chapter. It will be amazing. I have sooooo many poems that fit with this perfectly.**

**So... unless you missed that part about sunshine and rainbows, you should be hitting that button that says 'review' about now.**

**And if you did miss it, then I banish you to the fields of punishment where you will be forced to walk across legos for all eternity.**

**Yes, I just went there.**

**So, unless you want that fate, review!**

***smiles innocently***


	11. Bloody Bindings

**As promised, a poem! **

**A smell awkward moments a-brewin'**

**AND I LIED! I APOLOGIZE! McCoy won't be in this chapter. Or the next, I don't think.**

**I just HAD to get this chapter out because I know those yaoi fangirls will have rather large nosebleeds.**

**If it works right.**

**Which it will.**

**READ!**

**READ LIKE WIND!**

**... it snowed and I am excited, ok? i am not to be held accountable for my strange weirdness on days like today.**

**NOW READ!**

* * *

Bloody Truth

Red is the passionate kiss,

the loving gaze,

the murderous intent.

Red tastes of cascading fury,

burning and all consuming.

The scent of red death,

delightful and bright,

whipping on a scalding wind.

The long-awaited sound,

screaming stopped silent,

raw red throat still.

Red is imagination,

a child's flushed cheeks,

and a beacon of death.

Red is the last flicker of color

before the doors of life

snap shut

forever.

* * *

Sunlight filtered in from behind closed eyelids. Slowly opening, revealing a world and a warm bed, a bed with another body in it. A body tangled with his own; belonging to his one and only.

True to his word, William had kept the monsters away, and Grell had slept soundly. It seemed he could only manage this when William was besides him. Or, in this case, underneath him.

Speaking of which, Grell was in a slight predicament. He knew William was normally very reserved and shy about physical contact, but he was just so comfortable to lie on…

Grell's head was upon his chest, one hand on his stomach and a leg pressed against William's own. Grell was about to get up, actually, and spare William and embarrassment later, when said man shifted positions.

_'Ok,'_ Grell thought. _' A hell of a lot more than simply shifting positions.'_

William was now on top of Grell, still asleep. His face was buried in the crook of Grell's neck, a hand on o the exposed skin of his hip and a leg between Grell's. Slowly letting out a breath, he thought sadly

_'Well shit. There goes my plan to cook him a breakfast in bed.'_

* * *

William woke to a slumbering Grell in his chest.

_'This is… interesting'_ he thought. _'It has to be a dream. I would have woken up if he rolled onto me.'_

He pulled Grell under himself, breathing in his delicious scent. Vanilla.

Grell's heart was throbbing heavily through the thin shirts both males were wearing.

_'Am I… What am I doing? I can't be… ah crap. What if he is awake?'_

William's mind had caught up, and it sure wasn't happy with his body in the slightest. It must be in its rebellious stage, because it was constantly doing things it shouldn't. Like kissing Grell, for example.

William felt Grell's movement beneath him. More like his lack of, really. If he was asleep, wouldn't he have tried to push the weight off?

_'Fuck. He is awake, isn't he. How do I explain this?'_

* * *

William stiffened up.

_'Ah, that would be him waking up. This should be amusing. What will he do, I wonder.'_

* * *

William slowly raised himself up off Grell. Time to face reality. He looked down into sparkling pools of emerald.

_'Yup, he is awake. Shit.'_

William slowly rolled off Grell and onto his side. He sat up, preparing to go make breakfast.

Suddenly, he was lying flat out on his stomach, a weight on top. A Grell on top.

"What are you doing?" He groaned into his pillow.

"I could ask the same of you for just now, you know." A voice whispered seductively in his ear. William shivered, but managed to keep his voice steady as he replied.

"About that, sorry. I move in my sleep. Now, cold I get up? I need to make breakfast."

"Tch. Nope. You will stay right here while I cook YOU a lovely little breakfast. In bed." Grell stood up, a triumphant smile on his face and a sway to his hips.

"But Grell, you don't know-"

"Willi, a woman who doesn't know how to cook a simple meal isn't worthy of such a fine man in her bed, now is she?" He winked and swayed out to some unheard tune.

_'Sometimes, that reaper makes me want to kill him. HIS BED? He seems to be forgetting this is MY house. But then again, I don't really mind. Besides, when was the last time I had breakfast in bed?'_

William lay himself back down with a sigh. Though infuriating, Grell sure could be a fresh start in William's life.

_'My perfect other half,'_ He thought absentmindedly. He blinked. _'Where did that come from? No, he is just… different from the others.'_

A perfect other half. Bright and happy matched with dull and emotionless. Full of life, ready to fill the dead up. Black and white; light and dark. So different, yet so perfect. The circle now complete.

* * *

**heehee... hehe... HAHAHA!**

**I love this. A lot. It will be sooo amazing. Very, very amazing.**

**I noticed many of you will be suffering the fate of walking across legos for all eternity because you failed to review last chapter.**

**Now, for those of you who don't have an account, you are excused.**

**BUT FOR THOSE WHO DO!**

**I will grant you another chance. **

**Review here. SAVE YOURSELF!**


	12. Bloody Love Letters

**Heeeeeeyy!**

**I AM BACK WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER!**

***dances around happily***

**Alrighty. You might be asking where I have been. Well, I haven't exactly had a whole lot of time on the computer recently. Sadly, half of this chapter was on here and the other half was on my iPod. So I couldn't post it from my iPod. **

**Hehe~ sorry!**

**Anyways, McCoy is back in this chapter. **

**YAY!**

***dances around again***

**I like hitting the return button. Does anyone like that button?**

**return**

**return**

**return**

**ok ok ok... Just read it.**

**My mini morning freak out is over.**

**I think...**

**return**

**OK, just read the chapter.**

* * *

Grell brought in a pan, on which was a little cloth, on top of which was a plate towering with pancakes, a little pitcher of syrup, a pat of butter and a little bottle with a flower in it. He gently set it down on William's lap with a smile, then stood up to leave. William noticed he was wearing that god-awful apron, which, incidentally, did not look quite so terrible on him. Its ruffles made it look like the redhead had slight curves, the tightly-tied ribbon accentuating the illusion. William gulped, words spilling out before he could stop them.

"You look good." Grell looked at him strangely for a moment before a smile tugged at his lips. "I-I mean, um… the apron suits you. You should keep it."

Grell shook his head in amusement before walking out, making sure to sway his hips a little more than necessary. William sat still for a moment before turning on his pancakes, devouring their yummy goodness rather quickly. When was the last time he had had anything so sweet? It had been so long ago, it was hard to remember. After a moment, he realized something that caused him to jump out of bed.

"Grell!" He called. In moments, the redhead was besides him.

"Yes, Willi?" He purred.

"Grell, we need to get your clothes! I have been so inconsiderate, I forgot that you didn't have anything yet…"

Grell laughed softly "Willi, I am a proper lady. I can't be seen in public in this state; you go. I won't do anything, I promise. I don't want to anymore, please believe me."

"Ok. I'll be quick. I needed to stop in at the office soon anyways."

* * *

After stopping at Grell's house -involving some serious blushing at the contents of his closet- William was on his way to the Dispatch Society. He made it completely though to his office without incident. Almost.

"Ah, Mr. Spears." William stiffened.

"McCoy," he greeted curtly.

"I know one o' yer youngin's made a move."

"How did you know?"

"I didn't 'til yer confirmed it just now," McCoy grinned. William groaned; how did he fall for that trick? "Now yer better tell ol' McCoy 'ere, get it? I wanna know every little tidbit."

"Fine. It started when..."

William proceeded to tell his coworker about his twisted romance with his subordinate. He told him about how Grell was cutting himself. He told him about the apron and their awkward encounter that morning. He told him everything. When he had finished, McCoy processes the information a moment before speaking with a grin.

"I did tell yer 'e would get yer, didn't I?"

"... THAT is all you have to say?"

"Well, I AM surprised 'e 'ad been 'hurtin' 'imself so. Yer better fix 'im up real good, yer hear? This is an important part o' a buddin' relationship. 'E trusts ye, yer see? Yer got to help 'im out. 'E is hurtin', an' yer better fix 'im, or you'll be hearin' it from me, see?"

"It is not as simple as that, McCoy. I don't know what to do. He has these dreams, and he gets really scared. I don't know how to approach him properly, either-" William was wringing his hands in distress when McCoy cut him off.

"I see yer care mighty big 'bout that there lass o' yers. Give 'im a smooch. That'll say everything much better than words, see?"

"McCoy..." William sighed, heading into his office, McCoy hot on his trail.

"No! Listen ter me. See, yer get 'im a nice gift, chocolate an the like. Then yer set 'im down and tell 'im yer like 'im. If yer start to trip over words an such, jus give 'im a smooch. 'E likes yer, else 'e wouldn't be stayin' with yer, now, wouldn't 'e?"

"McCoy, please. You don't understand-"

"I know more than yer, apparently." McCoy interrupted. "Yer got yerself a perty little lass who wants yer but yer don't think highly enough 'bout yerself to see it."

"That isn't-"

"Mr. Spears. If yer make one more excuse, I just might keel over right now an' die. Yer bteter hurry yerself back home an kiss 'im!" With that, McCoy stormed out of the room.

* * *

William finished gathering his things and opened his door to reveal Ronald Knox.

"Yes, Knox?"

"Is it true?"

"Is what true, might I ask?" William replied, adjusting his glasses.

"You and Grell, Grell and you..."

"I haven't the faintest idea what you ate talking about. Excuse me, but I must get home now." William seethed, dark cloud hanging low and stormy. He passed Ronald and headed for the exit. Luckily, the blond stayed behind. Unfortunately, he felt the need to shout out as William was closing the door.

"Make that kiss count! It could lead to the good stuff if you do it right!"

* * *

**Ok, McCoy here is acting a bit like a father to dear William.**

**And Knox is in on it!**

**Any ideas on how I should proceed?**

**OH! Speaking of which, I got a PM from someone (you will remain anonymous) the other day.**

**They reminded me that some people have a difficult time reviewing because of language issues and stuff.**

**I wanted to say I apologize to you, and I honestly do appreciate your reviews. I just let my silly side get a bit out of control. If it does, please, feel free to bring it to my attention. I will not be offended. I actually really appreciate it when people do that, because I know I can get a little tout of hand sometimes.**

**Also, to those people that are taking the effort to translate my fanfic just so they can actually read it, all I can say is "OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU YOU ARE AMAZING PEOPLE!"**

**...**

**That was a bit of a second mine freak out in one morning, wasn't it?**

**Review it up!**


	13. Bloody Chocolates

**Ok, sooo... allow me to just say, I got stuck at the end of this chapter.**

**I just felt I should get this out here now, because otherwise it could take a long time.**

**If you have any suggestions for how to proceed, that would be amazing.**

**I would love that.**

**I would say I would love you, but I don't know you, so... yeah.**

**I actually have about nothing else to say right now for this chapter...**

**Other than I really hate the ending to this chapter, but I have re-written the following bit about four times now, so, I decided to take a break for a bit.**

**OH!**

**And, if you have any ideas for exactly what Grell is making, that could make things easier.**

**At first I was thinking fudge, but then I realized I have no idea if you put fudge in the oven.**

**Do you put macaroons in the oven?**

**I need something that goes in the oven. Then needs to cool down. And preferably involves chocolate but is slightly fancier than cookies.**

**So, if you have ideas...**

**BUT FIRST!**

**THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN READING TOWARDS!**

**THE BEGINNING OF THIS CHAPTER!**

**(scroll down)**

* * *

Grell bolted up as he heard the door opening; William was back. He glanced at the oven timer nervously. Ten minutes left and it still needed to cool down.

* * *

William shut the door with his foot. Not the way he preferred because it left a mark, but seeing as his arms were full, he didn't exactly have much of a choice.

Not only did he have the papers from the office and two bags of Grell's clothing, he had picked up a few other items. For some reason he was taking McCoy's advice and had bought some chocolate for Grell. Heart pounding, he hid the candy before locating a fidgeting Grell. For some reason, the redhead was a bit on edge.

"Ah, Grell. Here are you clothes. If you need anything else," William said with a blush, "just ask and we will go get it."

He had attempted to grab the most sensible items from his subordinate's closet, which was not easy. He ended up throwing in a dress or two, simply because Grell simply did not have anything fit for public eyes. He attempted to avoid anything involving lace or see-through fabric, but that left limited choices. Just knowing that Grell actually wore those items brought about a blush and censored thoughts.

"Thank you Willi! I will get dressed and be right back! Oh, one last thing. Please avoid the kitchen, I have a dangerous operation going on and don't want you to mess it up." With a wink, Grell swayed into the bathroom.

Shaking his head, not even wanting to know what was going on in his kitchen, William headed to his office to sort his papers.

* * *

Grell stood above the open bag, feral grin gracing his lips.

_'Willi brought those for me? I guess I simply MUST wear it then!'_

Grell lifted out one of his favorite dresses. It hugged his body in all the right ways, turning him from a sparrow into a phoenix. It wasn't his flashiest dress, but it possessed a simple elegance that drew him in. Ruffles began around his knees, trumpeting outwards.

He loved this dress because it worked for any occasion. In this case, a simple afternoon with a friend.

The curving neckline rendered his shoulders bare, a slight flare of cloth to one side. The way the fabric was bunched and twisted around his chest gave the illusion of something he did not posses.

He slipped into the tight fabric, fastening the buttons with ease. Poking and prodding the fabric into place, he exited the bathroom.

He added a splash of artistic grace to that room. Only this time, he kept himself whole in the process.

He heard a beep and rushed to the oven. Slipping his hands into the mitts, he pulled the tray out. The rich aroma wafted around his nose, bringing a smile to his lips.

He placed the dish onto the waiting wire rack; it would have to cool there before he could give any to William. Grell wiped down the counters one last time before feeling satisfied. With a nod, he made his way to the living room to wait.

* * *

William strolled out of his study nonchalantly, but stopped short at the sight gracing his eyes. Grell sat on the couch before him, a blossoming red flower in a frigid winter wonderland.

His flowing tresses cascaded down his back, leading the eyes to the simple elegance and beauty of his dress. The shape accentuated Grell's slight hips and gave the illusion of much longer legs.

William was rooted to the spot by the sight before him. In all honesty, he had no idea the redhead's figure could be complimented so.

"Does your chin like touching the floor, Willi?"

William promptly snapped his mouth shut, causing Grell to grin.

"I was just heading back to my room..." William slowly faded out. Where was he even taking this sentence?

"And...?"

"And I stopped to, er, tell you that the dress looks much better on you than on a hanger." William's cheeks flamed and he hurried past Grell into the safety of his room.

* * *

Grell placed a hand on his cheek. He had been given so many compliments like that, some more suggestive than others. Why did he feel so flustered? Such a tame comment getting such a reaction?

He shook his head and went to check on his confectionary creation. Still a little longer before it was ready...

* * *

William retrieved the box and sat on his bed, contemplating the best way to confess these foreign feelings swirling around in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

**So, sorry for no mushy/awkward/sweet/fluffy confession.**

**Yet.**

**As I said above, I am a little stuck.**

**So, review please!**


	14. Bloody Confessions

**This is officially my longest chapter ever. I am amazed at myself. Y'all better be happy with this.**

**And all of you rabid yaoi fangirls are going to be rather pleased, I do believe. I think I will add an epilogue. Because technically, this is the last chapter. I just wanted to bring the story full circle.**

**Do you want to know how accomplished I feel right now? I just finished writing a grelliam that didn't involve smutty stuff.**

**I don't know about you, but that feels like an accomplishment to me.**

**So, I now hope to sate the rabid yaoi fangirl gods with this chapter. Please accept my offering.**

* * *

Grell sorted through the drawer and pulled out a knife. He stood and expertly dug it through the creamy whiteness with ease. His mind was clear and focused solely on his task. He dug the knife in again and again for helping after helping. He felt calm, all the recent emotional turmoil forgotten for the time being. He held the knife loosely, comfortably, as if greeting an old friend. He watched as the knife worked it's magic, emotions pouring from his very hands.

Humming contently, he continued to spread the frosting onto his cake. (AN I apologize if I just gave half of you heart attacks. Not really, I can just picture your faces. But I couldn't help it. The second I typed "knife" I knew I had to... Anyways, back to the story.)

He was rather pleased with his work. He wasn't sure if William would have all the ingredients needed for red velvet cake when he started, but, then again, Grell had been finding himself being surprised more and more recently by his superior. It was, after all, Grell's favorite cake. Especially with his special cream cheese frosting. He licked his lips at the thought, looking forwards to later when he could eat a bite.

His movements stopped, his heart was fluttering in his chest. Why was he so nervous? He made this cake all the time, it was sure to be excellent.

But what if this time he didn't measure the flour correctly? What if his hand slipped when he was adding the sugar?

Grell shook his head to clear his mind and resumed spreading the frosting. Everything was going to be just fine. It had to be.

* * *

"Grell, I just wanted to say that I think you look lovely tonight. That dress really suits you. Better than suits. Anyways, here. I brought you some, I mean, I thought that you might like some chocolate because... I heard you say before you wanted some... and I think that I, uh, like you. More than a friend. I, um, wanted to say that... What I'm really trying to say is... Shit."

William sighed and sat down. Why was he so damn nervous? Sure, he hadn't exactly ever told someone his true feelings, and he certainly hadn't ever told someone he loved them...

Still, they were just words. It shouldn't have been too difficult to string them together to create something presentable.

If that was so, why did he keep messing up?

He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed again. Would he be able to go through with it?

No. Why was he even thinking of backing out? He had to do this. It couldn't wait any longer. He had been feeling this ever since he had been paired up with the redhead oh so long ago, back when Grell had short hair, wore black and the both of them were still in training. It was time to be completely out in the open; no more secrets. Never again.

* * *

Grell smiled in satisfaction at his creation. He set it aside and washed his hands. What was William up to? He hadn't even asked Grell what he was doing in the kitchen. In fact, he had seemed extremely distracted.

Was he feeling alright? Was he getting sick? (AN I don't know if shinigami get sick. For the sake of argument [and my story] they can.)

'Maybe I should check on him,' Grell thought to himself worriedly.

He hurried to William's room and knocked on the door. He heard frantic movement and the door opened a crack, William's glasses glaring.

"Yes?"

"Oh, I thought I would check on you. You seemed a bit distracted earlier and I was hoping you weren't coming down with something."

"I assure you, I am perfectly fine-"

"Are you sure? Can I just feel your forehead to make sure?" Grell reached his hand up, brushing a hair off William's forehead. A blush formed on his normally emotionless cheeks and he looked away.

"I-I assure you, I am perfectly fine..."

Grell looked him up and down through the slight opening with a smirk.

"Well, you certainly are fine. Fine and mine. Oh, would you look at that, I made a rhyme."

Grell said while leaned his hip against the door frame, bringing his face inches from William's.

"G-Grell..." William stuttered, flustered.

Grell stood strait and, with a little laugh and a sway to his hips, he made his way back to the kitchen.

* * *

William flopped backwards onto his bed. He had been so close to snatching Grell up and kissing his soft lips. So close to wrapping his arms around that slender frame and never letting go.

If only that damned door hadn't been in the way to give him a reality check.

(Time skiiiiiiip -to after dinner time)

Grell and William sat together in the continued awkward silence. All dinner had been wrapped in it. Grell and William locked eyes for the first time that evening, and both began speaking at the same time.

"Grell, I-"

"William-"

They both then stopped, giving the other permission to speak. Amusement sparkled in their eyes, but Grell beat William to the punch.

"I have something for you, William dearest."

"I actually have something I need to tell you first, is that ok?"

Grell's heart skipped a beat. Was he going to confess to him? Or was he going to tell him he didn't want him in his house anymore? What if he confessed, not love but his undying hatred?

Grell's swirling thoughts were cut short as a box of chocolates was placed in his hands. He felt fingers under his chin tilt his head until he was looking into the bright lemon-lime of William's eyes, who was now kneeling besides Grell's chair.

"Grell, you light up my world. You fill a void nobody could fill. You built a bridge nobody could build. You impossible, frustrating, wonderful, beautiful you. The moment I found out my words had given your perfect body scars, I was furious. At myself. How could I have done that to the only person ever who never once gave up on me? I," he faltered, but the look on Grell's face gave him the courage to continue. "I think I love you, Grell Sutcliff."

William leaned in and hesitantly kissed Grell's cherry red lips. His heart sped up when he felt Grell's expert mouth kiss him back. His arms snaked their way around the slim torso, pulling the redhead against himself. Grell's hands tangled themselves in William's brown locks, tilting his head slightly for a better angle of his mouth.

William gasped quietly as he felt the tip of one sharp tooth. Grell parted their lips, a slightly worried look in his eyes.

"Ah... Those. Right. Sometimes they frighten people off a bit. I'm sorry-"

"N-no! It's fine," William quickly replied, breathless.

A sly grin spread across Grell's face and he stood up, picking William up with him.

"Now, as I was saying, I have something for you, too."

* * *

"Now, close your eyes for a minute, ok?"

William nodded, closing his eyes and leaning against a counter. Grell smiled and retrieved his cake. He brought out two small plates and a knife. After cutting off two slices and placing them on their respective plates, he took a small forkful over to William.

"Open your mouth, ok?"

William hesitantly complied, and was delighted when he tasted the sweet confection. He opened his eyes to the sight of a hopeful Grell. Grinning, William picked up a plate and fork, digging in.

Grell was ecstatic. The two ate their slices happily and rather quickly. With a sigh, William placed his plate down, eyes closed. They snapped open when he felt a slender body pressed to his side.

Grell leaned against William, using him as a support. William was his crutch, he couldn't stand without him. If he were ever to leave Grell's side, the redhead would fall and never regain his footing on the slippery slope.

"We should get to bed," William stated. Grell looked up, slightly taken aback. William seemed to be pushing the relationship along quite quickly in one day...

William picked up on Grell's train of thought and quickly clarified. "I mean that you look tired, and you should get some sleep. We shouldn't miss too much more work, so we should rest up."

The corners of Grell's mouth tugged upwards. There was the William he knew and loved.

The two made their way towards the bedroom arm in arm.

* * *

Grell snuggled under the covers next to his superior. He buried his face in William's chest and draped and arm over his waist. Grell breathed in; fresh and crisp, just like the one whom the scent belonged to. It was a comforting smell, full of familiarity and the love they shared.

He felt William relax next to him, slowly becoming accustomed to the physical contact. A strong arm pulled Grell closer, shifting him into a more comfortable position.

Grell tightened his loose grip on William's waist. HIS William. For so long, he had fantasized about this day. Daydreamed of the heated passion following a confession. He realized now that he didn't need that to seal the deal. He knew that William loved him, and that was all that mattered. The two of them, conscious of their feelings and not afraid to show them. This is what love is. Not the lust for physical contact, but the simple things. The way William's hair looked when not slicked back or the way he smelled. The simple joy found in holding each other close. The hardships and the good times together.

"I love you Grell. I love you," William murmured into Grell's hair. The redhead snuggled into William's chest, hugging him tighter before whispering back.

"I love you too. I always have and always will."

* * *

**I love it. Grell and William sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G**

**... Don't ask. I have no idea.**

**Review it up!**

**Oh and people, people! I am now a beta! Just thought I would let ya'll know. **

**Anyways, review!**


	15. Bloody Love Song

**ok, first off, turns out I lied.**

**Again.**

**I try not to, honest...**

**But I had to add a bit more.**

**It had to be done.**

**So, I apologize to anyone who freaked out or whatever.**

**Secondly, this chapter is a weird length. There is more coming, I just had to get this out of my system first.**

* * *

Grell slowly opened his eyes, and smiled at the sight that graced them. Before him lay William, fast asleep, his face relaxed and peaceful. Small puffs of air from between his lips fluttered a strand of hair hanging over his forehead.

Grell reached up and brushed the hair from William's face, feeling the arm around his waist tighten. He layed head back down on William's chest, relaxing into the steady rhythm of his heart.

"So you really love me, don't you?"

Grell shifted his head so he was looking up at William's face. His superior wasn't looking at him, he was staring intently at the ceiling.

"I really do love you." William was captured by Grell's clear green eyes. "I always have and I always will."

Grell leaned his head up and kissed William gently and sweetly. He had never said anything more truthful than what he said at that exact moment. He really did love his boss, and he didn't care what anyone thought about it.

William was caught slightly off guard by the sudden show of affection, but he quickly regained his footing, kissing Grell back.

"I think we should go to work today."

Grell blinked, surprised.

"You broke a kiss to tell me THAT?!" William grinned sheepishly, causing Grell to sigh. "Fine, sure. Whatever."

* * *

"Boss Sutcliff! Are you all right? I heard you got hurt."

Grell smiled and leaned against William, receiving an eyebrow raise from Ronald.

"I was, but I'm fixed now. I don't think I'll ever get hurt again."

William blushed at the public display of love. This did not go unnoticed by Ronald, who smirked knowingly. A voice piped up from behind him, catching their attention.

"Got a touch o' the fever, Mr. Spears?" Questioned McCoy, who glanced at Ronald and added, "I would say it looks to be the love bug. Yer might be needin' a few more days off and a perty little lass to kiss yer better."

Ronald started laughing while William scowled. Grell took the hint and kissed William deeply, running his fingers through his slicked-back hair. When they parted, he gazed into William's eyes, ignoring Ronald's whistle and breathed "Better?"

"Ah..." William's blush deepened, and he averted his eyes.

"Well, . I do believe yer in a spot o' luck. Yer got yerself the perty lass. Now go home and let her take good care o' yer."

"I would fall dreadfully behind on my paperwork if I did that. Honestly. I am behind enough as it is. I simply cannot delay any longer," William scoffed.

McCoy sighed, shaking his head. He looked at Grell, and winking before walking away, saying "Take good care o' the idiot. I know yer will. 'E deserves yer, 'e just doesn't quite know it yet. Show 'im yer care."

Ronald glanced between the two shinigami, a smile lighting up his face. "You know, you haven't fooled anyone all these years. It was actually getting a bit painful for us... anyway, since I guess you two are FINALLY official, I think a party is in order. I'll get everyone rounded up later. The usual spot. See you guys there!"

Ronald ran off before William could decline. At a loss, he glanced at Grell, who was grinning.

"We can 't turn down one of Ronald's parties. Especially when it is to celebrate a new couple, even more so when that couple is us."

"I've just never... been. To one of his parties, I mean."

"I know, and that is going to change tonight, love."

"W-what did you just call me?" William stuttered, not sure if he heard right.

"Love... Is that all right?"

"No," William tugged Grell against him by his hips, resting his forehead against the smaller, more feminine man's. "It's perfect."


	16. Bloody Shot Glasses

**Again, this chapter is shorter tgan normal. I just wanted to get it out here sooner instead of having it sit around any longer.**

* * *

"Three cheers to Grell and William! They finally figured out that they actually like each other. How many centuries has it been now? All I know is, thank you for finally getting it over with!"

The entire room erupted in cheers and laughter at Ronald's slightly drunken speech. Of course, even though it was a normal sight to see the particular shinigami drunk off his ass, it was always a rather amusing one.

The conversation picked back up around them as the music started again. Grell clung to William, who stood awkwardly with a drink in his hand. What was he doing here? He much preferred to sit at home with a good book or stray paperwork. It was do loud and sticky. Though, Grell not leaving his side made things a bit more bearable.

He thought about everything that had happened. Grell's pain he had caused, then tried to cure. All the blood and tears that he stood in. From pain blossomed love. But would it last?Was it just a product of the shock of seeing Grell in that state? Was this "love" grown from guilt? Could he really be all Grell wanted?

His thoughts were interrupted by a hand clapping his shoulder. Lemon-lime eyes met deep green ones.

"Come 'ere, lad. Yer look like yer be needin' a lick o' advice."

* * *

"I-I'm just so unsure, McCoy. What if-"

"Look 'ere. This 'appens to the best. 'specially at this stage in a relationship."

"I just..."

"Shush. I know what yer be talkin' 'bout. I was once a youngin' like yerself, yer should know. Love is a terrifying beauty. Yer never know when it could be endin'. If yer felt the guilt, yer have feelin's for 'im."

"I-"

"I 'ave watched yer two for a long time, . Yer two are in love. Trust good ol' McCoy on this one."

William's heart twisted as he realized what McCoy was saying. He had heard about the tragic death of the reaper's partner. They had been more than just companions in reaps. The extent of their relationships was never made public, but William could see it in the man's eyes. McCoy knew exactly how dangerous this job really was, and he was trying to get William to seize what he could before it was gone.

"I will," William choked out around the lump in his throat. With a sad smile, McCoy squeezed William's arm lightly before pushing him back into the crowd.

* * *

**McCoy!**

**I felt so bad giving him that past... But it des make sense. It gives him more of a reason to reslly push William to realize his feelings.**

**R&R!**


	17. Of Bloody Buttons and Liquors

**"Willi!" Squealed Grell. The redhead promptly glomped the taller reaper for the millionth time that evening.**

"Yes, Grell?" came the tired reply.

"I want you to tell me what you said last night!"

The surrounding crowd perked up. Not often did they get to see their boss allow Grell's flirtatious attitude, and they were curious. What were those magical words William had spoken? Had they led to, what Ronald called, "The good stuff"?

"I cannot possibly remember, as I said many things to you yesterday evening."

The excited tension dissipated slightly. Of course...

"Noooooo! I want you to tell me what you said just AFTER you gave me the chocolate!"

The atmosphere quickly rebounded. William, being romantic? With chocolate? This had to be good, especially since his cheeks were tinting in such a manor.

"I... Do believe I said... I said..." William's voice faded out. When Grell gave him a pleading look, he bent his head slightly so as to mumble something into his ear. Whatever he said clearly was the right thing, for Grell squealed and smashed his lips against his superior's.

The crowd whistled and cheered giddily. It was the first time the two had completely showed they were seriously together, and that excited them to no end.

William, eyes wide, quickly separated himself from Grell. What was he doing? This was a public place! He caught McCoy's disapproving eye from the midst of the crowd and looped his arm around Grell's waist. McCoy nodded with a little smile and disappeared within the mass of people.

* * *

At some point in time, a glass of liquor had been shoved into his hand. Not that later, another followed. Having never been one to drink, William was feeling a bit tipsy. He found he was reaching out and pulling Grell to him more and more often. He even kissed him lightly as a third drink appeared in his fingers.

The crowd was getting rowdier and rowdier. At this point in the night, there were couples, old and new, snogging in dark corners or leading each other out in a quite suggestive manner. Those still standing were mostly quite drunk.

Even though he wasn't exactly as stoic as usual, William was beginning to grow uncomfortable. Grell seemed to sense this and said his goodbyes, saying he wanted to sleep before any early morning reaps. The other reapers were just too drunk or distracted (If you know what I mean) to question the redhead's sudden interest in getting work done.

William gladly followed Grell out the door and back to his apartment.

"Grell, I want t' thank you," William slurred ever so slightly. Grell gave him a small smile and led him to his bedroom.

"You get dressed. You are going to have a slight hangover in the morning, I can just tell now. Get some sleep while you can."

William clumsily got dressed. He managed the pants alright, but gave up on the nightshirt, opting to leave it unbuttoned.

'_Damn... Buttons... So hard... When they... Tilt...'_

William collapsed in his bed, curling up under the cover. The loud music of the party still pounded in his ears, making his head feel funny.

The springs squeaked and the mattress tilted as Grell climbed in besides his boss. He curled up besides the taller man, glad for the warmth of another to lie next to.

Strong arms encircled his waist from behind, pulling up against a bare chest.

"You smell so nice," William mumbled into his hair, sending shivers down Grell's spine. "You are so beautiful." he continued, his lips brushing against Grell's neck as he spoke. "I have wanted you for so long, I see now." He nuzzled into the crook between Grell's head and shoulder, soaking him in.

Grell's eyes were wide. Was William always this way when drunk?

He was drunk! He couldn't control his actions very well right now. Grell wouldn't allow him to do anything he might regret later.

"William... I think you should go to sleep."

"But I want YOU," William breathed, sending another wave of shivers.

"William, you are drunk. Go to sleep."

"I'm not drunk, I don't get drunk. I don't drink, silly. I just waaant you."

Grell nearly facepalmed. It was actually quite amusing, seeing William in this state. His words were all slightly slurred, and had a nearly childish lilt to them.

"Go to sleep. We can talk in the morning."

"Don't go, then. I want to sleep with you!"

Grell's heart skipped a beat. What?!

"You mean you want to sleep with me lying next to you. Go to sleep."

"Noooo!" William practically whined. "I want to sleep with you!"

This was getting old fast.

"William T. Spears! If you don't go to sleep within the next five minutes I swear on... All of your paperwork I will never touch you again!"

William shifted slightly, but remained silent. His breathing began to even out, signifying sleep.

Grell sighed in relief. Did William seriously mean that, or was that the drink talking? No, his kind of drunk meant what they said. William really did want him.

Grell sighed, grateful for the warmth of another body. And they weren't just there for the sex. They really did have feelings, even if you had to dig a layer or two to find it.

William's bare chest pressed against Grell's back, sending tingles to this fingers and toes. The two reapers fit against each other so perfectly. Two puzzle pieces fitting together to help form the dreamlike picture that was the world. They were made to fit together, and even though they were just two pieces in the entire puzzle, they were important. Other pieces might almost fit, or appear like they would fit, but none quite did except the other.


	18. Bloody Kisses

**Ok. I am not lying this time, I swear.**

**This IS the official end of this fic. I may or may not have an epilogue, but I ****_will_**** have a sequal.**

**If anyone has any great ideas for a sequal, I would love to hear them.**

**Now, dry your eyes. I wrote a happy ending.**

**Though you may want to keep that handkerchief. You might find this xhapter to be happy-tear worthy.**

**I love you all! Come back and read!**

**Please keep reading! Never stop reading. Reading is a portal to another world. Don't ever lose the key.**

* * *

"Grell..." William moaned. He grabbed the sheets in his fist and squeezed his eyes tighter.

"Yes, William? Are you alright?"

"My head... It hurts so bad..."

Grell sighed, standing besides his boss.

"Yes, that would be called a hangover. Now come on, get up. I'm positive I've had worse."

William blinked one lemon-lime eye open, flicking it up to look at his subordinate.

"I swear, I am never drinking again."

"You know, I kinda like you drunk," Grell teased with a wink and a grin before walking out, leaving a mortified William tangled in the sheets.

* * *

"What do you mean, you like me drunk? Grell! What did I do?!" William questioned worriedly as he pulled his jacket on.

"Well, you know how you woke up with your shirt unbuttoned and pants barely secured?"

"Y-yes..." William squeaked, terrified of what was going to follow.

"Well, apparently a drunk William cannot put his pajamas on, and tends to act like a whiney three-year-old who is craving candy he is being denied. Can you guess what that candy happens to be? Hmm?"

"Ah..." William flushed, blundering his way through another sentence. "I would never... I mean... You wouldn't... Hold back, would you?"

"William! A proper lady would never tell lies! Yes, you do still remain innocent. Which I do hope to change soon, you know. I respect your caution, but sometimes you just have to dive right on in. If you know what I mean."

"G-Grell!" William stuttered, unsure exactly what to say. Sometimes the redhead could just be a bit forewords.

* * *

(Time Skip! After work now)

"Grell, there is something that has been weighing on my mind lately."

"Oh? What would that be?"

"Why did you chase after that demon so?"

Grell looked at the ground through half-lidded eyes, heavily mascaraed eyelashes brushing his pale cheeks.

"I... Was trying to find something to fill the empty ache. I tried everything. I started drinking more and more. I tried all sorts of drugs, even ones humans use. I moved on to... More bodily pleasures. At first it was just kisses and the occasional touch. Then it grew. Soon, I discovered that physical pain distracted me. I let myself fall into abusive relationships. I chased after him because I could always count on him to hurt me. Then it wasn't enough to wait for them to get the whim and harm me. I picked up the blade. I have no idea what I would have done if you hadn't stepped in..."

"Shh... It's all right," William embraced Grell, soothing away the tears the redhead wasn't even aware were falling. "I'm so sorry I did this to you. I never meant... I never wanted... I'm just not good with emotion. I tend to try to block it out. I hope you can help me fix that. I think I love you, Grell Sutcliff. I really do."

Grell's lips were on his before he could even blink. At first, his eyes were wide with shock, but they slowly slide shut as he melted into the watery kiss. A kiss he had secretly dreamed about since they first began working in the same office. A true kiss with Grell. His Grell.

And he wasn't going to let him go, ever. He was going to hold him tightly, and if anything tried to harm his delicate flower, he would end them. Nothing would ever come between them. Not ever again.

They stumbled into a room, William wasn't sure what but Grell seemed to know. He let the redhead lead him, small mumbled words between nips and kisses.

Never had they ever felt a closeness like this, and yet they never felt close enough. Soon, it seemed, one discovered that their jackets were between them, keeping them apart. Shirts and shoes followed the discarded coats, a growing scattering upon the floor.

Soft lips parted for kisses and moans. Hands trailed everywhere they had longed to be. Bodies moved together, the puzzle completed, two parts finally creating a whole.

Never had they ever felt love like this.

Never did they ever want to try.

Never would they ever hold an other like this.

Never, without the other, would they ever get by.

* * *

**That last poem is called 'Never Ever'**

**I made it up, so I fo own it.**

**Review your goodbyes! **

**Well, it won't really be goodbye. I hope to see you all again in another story.**


	19. Epilogue: Bloody Rings

**This is it, folks!**

**After this epilogue, the story Bloody Truth is complete!**

**That sequal... OOH MY MIND IS TURNING!**

**And that is never a good sign, folks. Never.**

**But... Ah, well... You'll see!**

**Read and review!**

* * *

(Few months later)

"Grell Sutcliff. In my office. Now!" William's voice thundered through the building. The office snickered. Even though they were a couple, some things never change. Speaking of which...

"Coming Willi dearest!"

Grell disappeared into William's office.

* * *

"Grell Sutcliff," William was on his knees before Grell could speak, hands held high. "Would you do me the honour of marrying me?"

Grell stood silent for a second, eyes wide in shock. Slowly, a tear slid down his cheek, a smile spreading over his face

Suddenly, he was on his knees besides William, hugging him close, whispering in his ear "Yes."

* * *

The office looked up as a grinning Grell pulled William out of his office.

"I, we, have something to say to everyone here," Grell squealed. He threw his arms around William's neck, crying out "WE ARE ENGAGED!"

The entire room erupted in applause and whistles.

William wrapped his arms around Grell's waist, a small smile twitching his lips upwards. He locked eyes with an old, smiling man in the back of the room. McCoy nodded, William's grin spreading larger.

* * *

"And I don't want it to be super formal. Nope! I want it all bright and red, with lots of skin! And I will be wearing... William! Are you even listening to me?"

William blinked. His chin rested on his fist, a lazy grin plastered on his face.

"You just look so cute when you get really excited about something."

Grell flashed him a sharp grin before continuing to babble about wedding plans.

The world was perfect. They were together, and their plans for serious commitment were underway. They were smiling and laughing. There was no more bloodshed. There was no more pain. There was only their love, emblazoned upon a slim, looping band of silver.

How fast things could change. Just the blink of one crimson eye, and the image if perfection would tumble down.

* * *

**And people, people!**

**All suggestions for names/ideas for the sequal are greatly appreciated. Since my ideas are still all at the fetus stage, I can still use genetic manipulation on them to change them. Which might be good...**

**Please ignore that last bit. **

**... The part about genetics.**

** The part about ideas I do beg you to heed.**

**I love y'all!**

**Please, read more of my writing!**

**See ya later, alligator!**


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